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How to Write a Book: Avoid the Improbable

Now, by improbable I don't mean you can't write fantasy or surprise. No, I'm urging you to avoid your character "racing" everywhere when you mean getting from one place to another with purpose. Or considering something "for a minute". Do you know how long it would feel for someone to leave you in silence for an entire minute? How about this passage from a famous writer: 

He selected a fine cigar and after lighting it, he tossed the humidor at the doctor. "Cigar?"

First, selecting and lighting a fine cigar takes a number of steps involving snipping the end, and touching flame to the other end and puffing I think. Was he holding the humidor that entire time which means he did that all with one hand? What was the doctor doing while this was happening? And humidors aren't wiffleballs. I don't think you toss a humidor containing fine cigars at someone. The passage doesn't say he warned the doctor with the preparatory exclamation, "Catch! Cigar?" Was the humidor meant to incapacitate the doctor momentarily so the smoker could whip out a gun? Was the doctor known for his fast hands and everyone threw things at him to test his reflexes?

Or how about, "He ate the sandwich in one bite and walked out the door." Really? It can take some stuffing and packing to get a whole sandwich inside a mouth. Did he spit it into the hedge as soon as he passed through the door? Was he chomping and gawping and chewing like a Nathan's contestant? Did he whip out a bottle of water to aid in his efforts to swallow this whole sandwich? 

Then there are the myriad ways of saying things in books. "I hope you like the cake," she shouted to the table. Nope. She probably didn't shout that. Unless she was very angry. Or a band was playing. Or a plane was flying over the house as she was announcing dessert. Stephen King advises writers not to underestimate how invisible "he said" or "she said" becomes to a reader. It's usually seamless so no need to find ways of saying they said something. He husked. Unless it was sexy time and he was right on the edge, he probably didn't "husk". She murmured. Nope. unless you were nearby and sharing a secret, it would probably be creepy for her to murmur. You get the idea. Picture what you're writing and whenever possible, stick to the probable.

'nuff said.



-- Anna Erikssön Bendewald 

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